Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Top 10 Dating Tips

I thought I would bring you the top 10 dating tips I have gathered along the way in the hope of assisting and enlightening those who need assistance. If you are new to the dating scene, a regular or just simply someone trying to meet someone new there should always be time for top dating tips, advice, information and things to consider. None of us are dating experts otherwise we would have a magic formula to present to others. And no, looks are not the magic formula otherwise all supermodels would be blissfully happy - which they are not my friend. Good looking people the world over struggle when it comes to affairs of the heart. Think of all the major figures in history who have fallen in matters of romance.

The truth is, there are no magic formulas, no perfect tricks of the trade, no cunning ways of trapping Mr. or Miss Right and no top dating tips that wave a magic wand. But there are some essential facts that you should always bear in mind along the way. Dating tips are just that - tips, they are not promises written in stone and different things will always work differently for different people. However, I have noticed that there are some threads of advice that keep cropping up and therefore it is worth reiterating my top 10 tips here.

My Top 10 Dating Tips

  • Get prepared for dating. If you really want to succeed in the dating game, decide who you are looking for, do your research and be ready to commit to dating. Half heartedness won't work. Also prepare for some let downs along the way but don't take dating too seriously either.

  • Get your act together. Begin a regime of looking your best. Join a gym, read health magazines, get fit and start a diet. Get your hair cut or styled and begin a new regime of good grooming or beauty treatment. Though it will not find you a date in itself, you will feel a million times more confident about yourself.

  • Go shopping and treat yourself to new clothes and even a whole new look. Get your image right, one that you can manage and live with, but one that flatters you. Don't go overboard and look like someone you are not but maybe its time to throw out those tired jeans, old sweaters or cardigans and spruce yourself up. People appreciate appearance.

  • Have a good think about what your dating goals are and timescales. Do you see yourself married within 2 years? If you do then approach dating accordingly. If you are more laid back and don't take dating too seriously then ask yourself some honest questions about why you are dating and what you hope to achieve. If it is purely sex then ask yourself if you are about to be honest with those you hope to date.

  • Sort out your confidence levels in advance. By following the first four tips you will feel better and be more focused. Do all the things that will boost your confidence from avoiding negative friends (often the married ones) to attending the right kind of social functions. Couples at dinner parties in suburbia is not necessarily where you need to be right now.

  • Choose those you have a good chance of dating, don't aim low but do aim realistically. In other words, your dating is based on the whole package you present as well as just your personality. If you are looking for a glamour girl or boy and want to date someone trendy and gorgeous then good for you, but be prepared and be realistic about your chances.

  • Work out in advance where in your neighborhood you are likely to meet people and join clubs, societies, sports events, drama groups, anything where you are likely to meet potential partners. The kind of partners you are looking for. I know its a cliché but you will not meet people by staying indoors.

  • Take time off from dating occasionally if its not going well or causing dating fatigue. Dating is an ongoing process and so recharging the batteries and keeping the confidence and optimism levels high is an absolute must. So date in phases if necessary.

  • Enjoy dating for what it is, dating. It is meeting people and socializing and spending time in the company of stimulating individuals who may or may not bring you a sparkle. The fact is, most people are interesting and whilst you may not be out there looking for new friends, you may well find one or two fabulous people along the way.

  • Never ever make yourself too available. People like mystery and enigma and the thrill of the chase when dating. In keeping with this do not sleep with your dates early on if you want them to progress, so keep sex until later. The longer a person is made to chase and fall for you within reason, the more likely that love may blossom. Peak too early and you have little left to offer and emotions may never have had the time to develop.

( From: http://www.topdatingtips.com/top-dating-tips.htm)

The Key Rules of Dating

The problem with the dating game is that there are dating rules to follow and most of them we forget as we grow older. You see, when we are young our fellow friends at school and college reinforce the way things should be done when dealing with potential dates. Yes you should wear that, no you never say that, yes you should do this, but no you never do that. Then we grow up. For a time we are completely aware of the rules of dating and we practice those rules every time we meet someone. But then we meet someone perhaps, fall in love and have a relationship. Little by little the things we learned over our formative years when dealing with the fairer sex are lost and are in fact unlearned.
Then one day we are unwillingly thrust back onto the dating scene only to find that we start behaving like 12 year olds. We call our dates too often, we are constantly available, we wear the wrong clothes, laugh at bad jokes like a fool, date the wrong people and generally get it all badly wrong. Then we get hurt or taken for a ride. Of course there will be some of you reading this that are the very epitome of dating sophistication, but the truth is, when you lose your heart you also lose your head. If you are going to date well then give these key do's and don'ts of dating some serious consideration. Dating rules are very important if you want to win and keep your perfect match.
Dating Rules - Do's
1. Do try to look your best and be punctual on dates
2. Do have fun when dating. I know the subject of Mr. or Miss Right is serious but dating is fun too so keep it that way.
3. Do flatter and compliment your date on the way they look and the things they wear. People tend to go to a lot of effort on a date (hopefully) so being told that you are looking good is a nice thing to hear.
4. Be interested and interesting. As the Pet Shop Boys once said, I was never bored because I was never being boring" or something similar. You get my drift.
5. Do tell someone if you are not interested in dating them again. Being lied to and hopes kept alive is an evil and malicious act (yes I mean it that strongly). If you don't want to see someone again then let them know that in the nicest possible way you can.
6. Do date the type of people you like and are attracted to, whatever your friends may say. Approval by your peers doesn't prove a thing.
7. Do stay positive even when dates don't end well. It is most certainly true that you will date a few frogs before you find a prince. Along the way you will meet some nice people too and make some good contacts possibly.
8. Dating is a creative diversion, it requires concentration and energy so when you are dating keep some plans in the forefront of your mind and allow dating to take you to places you always wanted to visit within your own city.
9. Do make dating happen for yourself. People will not come and ring your bell from nowhere. Dating requires positive action so go out there and meet people, as many people as you can. Practice your chat and flirting on shop workers, bar attendants, anywhere and everywhere. Being nice to people is very sexy and great fun.
10. Do surround yourself with positive like minded people who are also dating. Think about the girls from Sex and the City and how they assist each other in dating and matters of romance. Negative friends who don't condone the dating scene or don't understand it will only help lower your own expectations and make you feel negative.
Dating Rules - Don'ts
1. Never call someone more than once a day unless they reply. Desperation and instability are huge turn offs.
2. Don't date the people who you usually find dump you. You may be generally attracted to bastards but that will not get you anywhere except hurt.
3. For men, never ever be late for a date, even if you have a very good reason. Women should never be kept waiting and should never have to seat themselves - ever.
4. Never tell lies to your date or pretend anything about your life that isn't true. If this is your perfect match for God's sake do not allow it to be ruined by some silly lie told early on.
5. Never be too available. Being available every night of the week and at the end of every whimsical phone call or possible rendezvous means you are making yourself uninteresting and a possible doormat. Be busy, be unavailable generally and be interesting.
6. Don't give away too much about yourself at the start. People love enigma and mystery. Revealing to your new date your inner most secrets on date number two will quickly ruin everything. A small bit at a time people.
7. Never check other people out when you are with your date. You may think you are subtle , your date will be heading for the door. Have the courtesy of concentrating solely on your date when you are with them.
8. Don't be rude or get drunk on a date. Courtesy and manners will get you everywhere.
9. Don't ignore your personal safety when dating. Have a cellular phone and keep it charged, tell your friends where you are going and be safe. Date at first in well known public places and never ever be pushed into anything you are not happy with.
10. Don't give out personal information like home phone numbers and addresses on a first date. Keep them until you are sure of your date and the future possibilities.
11. Don't have sex on a first date if you ever want to see your new date again. If you like them and are interested in them, sex on a first date will usually ruin everything. Its too much too soon and is not the way of romance. Believe me I am 100% certain on this.
12. Never date a married person. They will not leave their husbands or wives for you (except exceptionally rarely). Married dating is the sure fire way to misery, lies, deceit, lack of self respect and loss of romance. If you are married, separate first. If you are single, don't be a shoulder to cry on, you deserve far better.

(Source: Topdatingtips.com)

Date Ideas and Tips

Go to a playground that's not in use and play! Take along a picnic lunch, baseball, bat, Frisbee or outdoor toys (blowing bubbles is fun)� Have a great lunch after playtime.

Don't surprise your date with a hatchet movie, meal, etc. on the first date. They may be allergic to horror films - and you don't want to 'surprise' a vegetarian with a dinner at "Harvey's House of Beef."
With a 'surprise' date you could end up with a teetottler at a wine-tasting, or a lactose-intolerant date at a cheese fest - you get the picture...

Be honest, don't play games. Avoid even stretching the truth, the first time you're caught it will destroy your credibility.

Be on time. Lateness is inconsiderate (not to mention it reveals all sorts of things about your personality such as your passive-aggressive tendencies). If your date is late, be pleasant, and listen to their reason - it might be legitimate.

Tell yourself you're not nervous, just excited.

If your date compliments you don't just brush it off or say something rude about yourself, say thank you and do NOT put yourself down.

If you're concerned about topics of conversation, be sure to read a newspaper or watch a news program that day so you're up on world events.

Find out if he has any good platonic female friends. It's a good sign if they can relate to women�

Keep checking the inside (give the exterior stuff a rest). If you stay focused on looks you may end up ignoring or dumping a perfectly fantastic person without ever really giving them a chance.

Be open -- to your date's ideas about what to do on the date and express yourself honestly (AND tactfully).

Don't manhandle your date and don't rush sex!

Keep the first date brief. Leave them wishing for more, not wondering how to escape.

Stay away from someone who only talks about money and 'things' or who boasts - usually signs of deep-seated insecurity.

Don't talk about marriage and kids and long-term plans for the two of you on your first dates.

Be clear about the date, time and place...and be on time! Don't leave things hanging with "I'll call you later with the details�"

Keep topics light and keep away from controversial issues on the first date. Also, refrain from using off-color language or jokes, or making sexual references.

Try a sporting event neither one of you have ever seen live: a polo match, professional tennis tournament, golf tournament, dressage, volleyball, tractor-pull, sumo-wrestling - whatever you can agree on doing together that's different.

Collect cocktail napkins or other mementos from all the places you have been together.

Help solve a problem by writing a letter to together to the love doctor - "Dr TRuth."

Remember, games can be fun. Monopoly, computer games for two, card games, and end it all with a game of Twister.


Source: Links2love.com